Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize