In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
