also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
