I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i think i have herpe
just one?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize