spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
