lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
even my farts smell like vagina
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Found your dick twin last night
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
