I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
