if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
