im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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