he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
