they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize