Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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