that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
