her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
