I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
