Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
