kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
