Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
my liver is dry heaving
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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