so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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