i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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