awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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