Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
worst night to have a conscience
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
