He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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