Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
