I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
