Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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