So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
