Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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