32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
