i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize