Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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