Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
