She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
