I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
