guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize