so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
