im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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