You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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