I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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