good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
