ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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