I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
