He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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