Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
