just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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