I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize