and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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