Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
