well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
