i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
