we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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