I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
