they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
