yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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