No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
