just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
