I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
