please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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