when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Help. Why am I so naked?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
