I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She's the barista slut.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
