i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
