Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
