just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
