I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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