this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
