thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
