My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i think my cat just said my name.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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