Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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