I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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