All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I checked into jail on foursquare
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
