i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
