Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
