Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
