Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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