We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
