Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
